10 Signs it might be your ego talking by Julie Furlong
I love the quote; Know better, do better by Maya Angelou. I have been thinking a lot about that saying. As time goes by, and as we experience episodes in life, we learn, change and grow. So, given those actions and thoughts, of course we should know better and in turn should transpire into doing better. But sadly, the opportunity to do better is restricted by the size of our ego. That invisible emotional drive within our thoughts that we identify with. Ego has its own reality which pops up without you even realising it, getting the better of you, and ultimately getting in the way.
My ego has trapped me in many past experiences (as with us all?). Someone pushes one of my buttons and bam… it creeps up on me. Not being mindful of our ego, we end up being too naïve, thinking we know everything – not listening to anyone, taking feedback too emotionally, too seriously or not at all. Oh, and that terrible trait of always insisting on being right, no matter what the cost in seeking approval from everyone else.
As time goes by, we should learn to know better from all those past experiences and the ego should calm us – right? BUT, this freedom is only possible when we have an understanding of our ego and a sense of awareness around our thoughts. ‘Ego is no longer ego, when you know there is ego’ – Eckhart Tolle. The ego has a great knack of putting us into survival mode. That powerful emotional drive, makes us react with anger, frustration, jealousy, fear, or even revenge. Yep, too many times the ego gets in the way when we should really be looking at a situation more objectively and rationally.
Everyone has a different sized ego. Some are bigger than others. It’s hard to see or judge the size of people’s egos most of the time. We are all responsible for constructing our own, based on our own beliefs, personality, talents, and abilities. I have been observing people’s egos of late, without comment, just observing.
Surprisingly many people would not admit or realise that they have an ego and have no clue of the size of their ego. Your ego is the part of you that;
- doesn’t like being told you are wrong, no matter how many facts prove otherwise;
- takes a situation way too seriously;
- reacts irrationally or even inappropriately, if something does not suit you;
- has one sided conversations;
- may put others down;
- is blind to personal flaws;
- focus’s on one’s self, over others;
- lacks empathy and seeing other points of view;
- requires constant recognition, and finally;
- can’t ask for help, nor accept any feedback.
Your ego will protect you, but be careful it does not take you too far and get in the way of happiness. Next time you first notice that you feel fear, threat, shame or embarrassment. Ask yourself – is this the way it really is, or is this my ego’s response? (Read: The power of self-awareness).
Here are some tips to keep your ego in check and free yourself;
- listen longer before responding;
- never act when feeling emotional – calm down first;
- have some compassion and empathy and try to see things from the other person’s point of view;
- be objective, it’s not about always being right;
- avoid making snap judgments;
- don’t take yourself so seriously, we all make mistakes;
- be fully conscious of what you’re doing and why and;
- take time-out to assess whether what you perceive is true, or are your simply reacting.
Dealing with on egoistic person is stressful, and no one wants added stress in their lives.
At the end of the day if your ego is huge and in charge of you, you will go nowhere fast. Nor will you have too many allies. If you live a life where you think you are better that everyone else, you will have a life where loved ones will just tolerate you, because they have to… or even worse, they will leave you. Your work colleagues will sigh with relief, when they finally see the back of you, or you will eventually push them away.
People who are happy are the ones who are able to keep their ego in check (Read: Attitude adjustment – The power we all have). Your ego is to blame for many things. Before you know it, you can be acting like a total tosser, but then feel you are too far down the track and your pride then gets in the way to back track or apologise. Ego can take away so many beautiful things in your life – it affects the way we live our lives and it stops us from dealing with disappointments and hardships in the right way. So, why not get your ego in check, so you can know better, do better… and then be even better.
Thank you for taking the time to read this inspirational blog about life. I hope this creative blog helps you to be inspired and live your dreams, developing some good life habits and positive thinking. The intention of this creative and light-hearted site is for you to live a better, happier life that enhances your own emotional intelligence skills, based on my own life experiences. Please enjoy!