by Julie Furlong
I often reach out to friends who I feel are being too hard on themselves and simply remind them to think about things from another perspective with positive thoughts. We all easily go down that path of being tough on one self and end up underestimating our worth and become our own worst enemy. We beat ourselves up over the smallest things, yet we then often easily forgive others around us. The self-reflective thoughts we communicate to ourselves control both the way we feel and the way we act, ultimately turning the emotion into behavior and mere thoughts into a reality. The truth is we experience failure from time to time – it’s part of life. The question is, how will you let that affect you?
If you feel this way, then it is probably time to recognise that what you say to yourself – as well as how you say it – can make a significant change to your life. The good news is that it’s time you GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK, stop comparing yourself to others and telling yourself repetitive, self-disruptive remarks. It’s time to change your behaviour and shape habits for a better future. The one person we chat to daily is ourselves, within our own mind, and the truth of the matter is that if we practiced regular, positive self-talk with gentleness, we can become kinder – not only to ourselves but to the people around us.
I am living proof of this. Positive inner-chatter has allowed me to get past disruptive negative thoughts and stand up for what I believe in. If you don’t feel so good about yourself, if you think that your self-esteem is a bit low or if you beat yourself up regularly because of bad decision-making or mistakes, consider that there are some simple changes you can make to help yourself. By becoming fully aware of our thoughts, we can stop the negative ones in their tracks and understand there is no RIGHT way of doing anything.
The following 9 positive thought tips will help create a positive future for you.
With some practice, you can completely control the way you think and it is those habitual thought patterns that will ultimately determine your level of happiness…
- Be mindful.
Make more conscious choices about what you want flowing into your mind and into your life. Be aware and think about what you don't want to let in any more.
- Focus on you.
Look for the time and energy to focus on you and your abilities. Be specific in your thinking about your own desires and goals, and clearly identify the things that will make you happy, such as getting creative, exercise and considering meditation.
Accept that you will make mistakes along the way; it is part of life and being human and building resilience. Be ready to forgive yourself and realise you are not going to get yourself anywhere by putting yourself down.
- Slowly change your daily routine.
Identify your routine and, one by one, remove the negative elements. Replace them with positive ones in order to promote positive self-talk. This may include a simple shift in your morning routine, such as one minute of saying kind encouraging statements to yourself.
- Surround yourself with positive people.
Ensure that the people in your life are positive and supportive – continue to nurture these relationships. Positive people encourage you to be kind to yourself, as they only want the best for you; they want you to succeed and are genuinely happy for you.
- Laugh it off.
When your inner critic starts putting you down, don’t acknowledge it – ignore it and laugh it off. Always remember not to say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to anyone else.
- Remind yourself of your achievements.
Look at how much you have accomplished in the past to motivate you to keep moving forward. Always think about what can go right, rather than what can go wrong.
- Look for opportunity.
Look for the opportunities in situations. Do not dwell on potential problems or something you cannot change. Ask yourself, what do you need to do in order to turn this situation into an opportunity?
Plan and take some time to become aware of what you want to change. Think about:
- • What is important to you
- • Your vision and desire, and how you will get there
- • Taking small steps, and not expecting it all to happen overnight
I hope these 9 tips have provided you with some motivation for you to think about how you communicate with yourself in a way that is more beneficial to your wellbeing. The preceding advice is offered in the hope it may help you form positive habits of thought, as it has helped me. Remember that the most important investment (which no one talks about) is the investment in yourself; your own habits and your own happiness – it is absolutely the best investment you can make in your life.