by Julie Furlong
All of us care if people like us or not, but for whatever reason, from time to time you will come across people who simply don’t like you.
Over dinner last night, my partner and I enjoyed the company of good friends. Over the course of the night we reflected on a social occasion recently where we all had a lot of fun (Read: Enjoy The Moments). However, my friend admitted, that on that occasion, he sensed one of my other friends did not like him. He asked me why that would be the case. Of course, I wanted to provide him with a truthful, uplifting response that would result with a positive outcome. I responded, ‘well, it’s because they don’t know you like the rest of us do, they only saw one little bit’, I continued, ‘and you assume that people think the same way as you do, but they don’t’.
After our dinner, I felt this time of the year is a good time to write about this topic, as we often cross paths or have to attend unavoidable functions during the festive season with past or new acquaintances, friends or even family members that you know don’t like you. As adults, we all struggle with this, often repeating to oneself, why doesn’t that person like me, what did I ever do to them? Or even worse: ‘I did everything for that person and had best intentions in mind, and they still don’t like me’.
I decided a while ago, when I too discovered such people in my life, to control my emotions and deliberately let these thoughts go (Read: Let Go), rather than speculate and sit with the negative feeling. Doing anything other than this is a total waste of time and not good for your mental health (Read: Mental Strength), especially over someone who does not like you or has misjudged you. If you think a little deeper about the subject, you will realise the reason someone may not like you is often from a form of insecurity within themselves and it has nothing to do with you anyway. Or you have most certainly been misrepresented or misunderstood. You may have even aroused a weakness within them, like jealousy or a feeling of inadequacy.
For whatever reason, acknowledge and accept it then move on in your mind and life. So what, they don’t like you, BUT there are hundreds of other people in this world who do. It’s not worth your precious time trying to analyse it.
So, rather than waste time on your haters, remember this:
1. Just be yourself, be honest and open with your life.
2. Refocus your energy on the people who believe in you, rather than trying to win the approval of people who don’t.
3. Ask yourself:
- What is true about the situation?
- Does it really matter that that person does not like you? (Read: What Matters Most)
4. Accept you can’t please everyone.
5. Be grateful for having other people in your life, who come from a place of love.
6. Never let someone else limit your happiness or success, see the encounter to improve and learn and grow (Read: The Happy Plan).
Yep, you might have faults and flaws, but in many cases people will dislike you because something is wrong with them and not with you… remember that! If you happen to cross paths with people you know don’t like you, especially during the festive season, take my advice and smile and wave like the penguins in Madagascar. Remember that not everyone will like you because they only see you through their own lens probably coming from a place of fear or envy since they don’t know everything about you or your good intentions anyway. So, I encourage you, over the festive season be the bigger person, greet your haters, acknowledge them and be nice. Focus your energy on being the kindest and most generous person you can possibly be (Read: Generosity) and worry less about the ones who can’t get on board with how you are being you. Have some fun, relax, enjoy your break and be kind and true to yourself.