7 Effective ways to let go and move on by Julie Furlong
I have re-visited this topic, which I wrote about back in Feb, 2017. I think it is an important one as our changing, impermanent lives continue on.
We often get dragged back into a situation. Sometimes, it’s a slow process and we don’t even realise it. I get hauled back into situations over and over again. Unfortunately, I allow the situation to slowly eat away at me, I think we all do from time to time. I cling desperately, hoping a solution will arise and everything will be back to normal soon and everyone is happy again.
However, I have recently come to the realisation that if there’s nothing to hold onto in the first place, you need to pull the pin, once and for all. We struggle to LET GO because it’s about identifying the source of our pain, and then it’s about accepting it. What follows is about being brave enough to confront it, trust life, deal with it and then put it in the past.
Most of the time, it’s hard to LET GO. We’re brought down with regret, thinking of the things that should never have happened to us... and we begin the narrative in our minds, if only, if only. At the time, you thought it was the right thing to do. Then we think about what we need to do and what steps we need to take to make our lives as perfect as possible. But unfortunately, there is always something that comes up or reoccurs. SO, at that point, if you feel you are banging your head against a brick wall, it’s time to LET IT GO and start fresh.
Sometimes we have to do things we don’t necessary want to do, we have to engage with people we don’t particularly like. People constantly want our attention, there is always too much to do and mistakes and regrets are bound to happen. We hold onto and attach ourselves to what we want the world and people to be like. There will never be a time when life is simple, but our willingness to LET GO of the clutter will provide clear space and energy to start fresh memories. We all know anger and resentment are toxic and these feelings will keep you in the past, and does not have anything new to offer. Life is too short to dwell on it, so practice accepting that there is a chance, LET GO and feel peace within yourself.
Life gets a lot easier to deal with when we understand how to LET GO and move on. Here are some ways to get started:
- Timing is everything - recognise it’s time to LET GO and move on, keep repeating this in your mind. (Read: Positive habits of thought). What is done is done, there is no going back, so invest in positive thoughts and behaviour and move forward. Accept, be thankful, learn, believe and take control.
- Create new memories - Make the most out of creating new memories, each day is an opportunity to make new memories happen – so make the most of it!
- Try something new - Try and do the things that you always wanted to do (which you have not done yet), learn a new skill instead of dwelling on the skills you never mastered. Make a list, NOW!
(Read: What’s your worry).
- Focus on what you can change for a brighter future. Don’t waste your energy on worrying about the things you can’t change or influence. You cannot control the uncontrollable. (Read: Uniqueness)
- Will it matter down the track? Realise that many of the things you’re worrying about don’t really matter in the grand scheme of life and believe you don’t have to have it all 100% figured out. Be ok with the fact that some things will just come to you later and you will be ready to accept and embrace this.
- Let go of the pressure of being perfect and having to control everything. Embrace and make a list of what you have accomplished – even the small things. You’ll have to LET GO of a little discontentment to make space for self-satisfaction. Focus less on pleasing others, and more on just doing the best you can.
- Remove yourself from the situation for a while, take a break. Sometimes the best way to handle the situation and LET GO, is to remove yourself then return to it with a fresh set of eyes, viewpoints and opinions and you will see it from a different perspective.
Learning to LET GO is a big ask, especially when so much is invested. But as life flies by, the past will always remain behind us and there is always the opportunity to start again tomorrow. Mistakes will happen, learn from them, not LETTING GO of the same thing over and over will do you no good. Never expect that things will be forgotten in your mind overnight, be patient, make a plan to start fresh. Perceptions and thoughts shape our feelings and actions and the way you respond to what you did in your past will decide on the present and future. The good news is that LETTING GO of past experiences will help you learn and grow to change your future life. You are what you decide to become… not what has happened to you or what you have done in the past. It’s about being human and open-minded.