8 WAYS TO PRACTICE
Notes by Julie Furlong
You are worth it.
I wanted to share this analogy;
– A bottle of water at Costco is $0.25.
– The same bottle in the supermarket is worth about $0.50.
– The same bottle in a bar costs $2.
– In a good restaurant or hotel, it can be worth up to $3.
– At an airport or on the plane, you could be charged $5.
The bottle, contents and brand are the same, the only thing that changes is the place. Each place gives a different value to the same product.
When you feel like you are worth nothing and everyone around you belittles you, change places, do not stay there. Have the courage to change environments and go somewhere you are provided the value you deserve. Surround yourself with people who really appreciate your worth.
Do not settle for less.
I recalled this analogy recently, when I sat on the balcony with my niece. She was asking for some advice surrounding the contribution she makes to her role at work. She’s definitely showing up and delivering over and above, however not quite getting the remuneration or recognition yet. And that is ok for a little while, as when you are the new kid on the block, you are normally demonstrating or proving your value. There is a point, however, when it comes time to recognise your boundaries, highlight your contribution and have the confidence to address it.
I asked her to read over the analogy that I had recently sent to my team, as it highlights how important it is for all of us to be around people who recognise our worth, now and in the future. But the vital key is recognising your own self-worth and having a deep understanding of your value – this will make all the difference, disarming your internal critic. (Read: 9 Simple tips that lead to positive thinking)
If you’ve been given the message that you’re ‘not worthy’ most of your life. It’s hard to counteract the long period of time of hearing that message. Unfortunately, in the past, I have let others devalue me from a personal and a business environment. It’s true; constantly being around people who do not value you, will lead to all sorts of future complication and heartache – and if you are going home each night feeling like you’re not good enough, you will manifest those feelings of no value and start believing it. Your value is not based on someone else’s opinion or misuse of you. It is not based on their words about you or treatment towards you. It’s never easy, but you must never forget how rare you are and never allow someone to prevent you from living up to your own potential. (Read: 10 Best positive self talk tips) They probably have not been living up to their own potential and have an unhealthy level of self-worth themselves.
You do not need to continually seek external validation to develop self-worth and relying on others to make you happy is a big mistake, even though we get caught up in the self-worth trap far too often. To succeed, you need to be happy with yourself to have self-worth. If you never develop compassion for yourself and never stop to reflect on all the good things you have achieved and completed in the past, you will hinder any sort of self-worth development.
The biggest mistake we often make, is that we forget that self-worth and self-validation needs to be a daily practice. We are all of great worth, in one way or another, no matter what we think, feel, or do. Whether you succeed or fail, you need to maintain a daily practice of keeping a self-worth core that does not change. We all encounter adversity on a daily basis, and these problems in our lives impact our self-worth, but even though on these days you may feel the pain of failure, if you nurture, practice and have self-worth, you will know that you are valuable and capable deep within. That’s why a deeper understanding and belief of your self-worth will strengthen that foundation and assist to build better relationships with colleagues at work, friends, family and most of all, your partner. (Read: The Power of Self Awareness)
How to practice and gain self-worth;
- Get back to that childlike sense of who you were – that deeper belief that you matter. Find joy in understanding your core beliefs and doing things that you love and feel good about. (Read: 7 Good life habits to achieve happiness)
- Live a version of yourself that is authentic, valuable and honest.
- Spend time with people who make you genuinely happy and most of all, make you feel good about yourself.
- Look for the win-win in situations. Help others by helping, respecting and caring for yourself.
- Be thankful for the challenging people in your life, see them as an opportunity to learn more about you.
- Know you have the capability to do good and make a positive impact to pass on, no matter small it may be.
- Focus on what you bring to the table, you have your own strengths and positives, know what they are, use them whenever you can and feel good about it. (Read: 10 great ways to fight for your dreams, never give up!)
- Know you are not perfect, embrace challenges as a learning experience and move on whilst recognising you have other skills.
The more you doubt yourself and your worth, the more you are going to believe it and the more it will manifest. If you don’t value yourself no one else will see your value and you will find yourself going down a hard path of hopelessness. Remember, your value does not decrease based on someone else’s inability to see your worth. Stand to benefit regardless of how people treat you. Some people will teach you what you want to be, and others will teach you what you don’t want to be. Look at it as a learning experience. Pay attention and recognise the difference.
THOUGHTS TO PONDER
1. Have you become your own worst enemy?
We all easily go down that path of being tough on one self and end up underestimating our worth and become our own worst enemy. We beat ourselves up over the smallest things, yet we then often easily forgive others around us. With some practice, you can completely control the way you think.
2. is there a voice in your head that says you're not worthy?
The one person you chat to daily is yourself, within your own mind. These self-reflective thoughts we communicate to ourselves, control both the way we feel and act, and ultimately turn from mere thoughts into reality. Never listen to the negative thoughts inside your head.
3. Are you constantly getting criticised?
Have you had one of those weeks where you are constantly getting criticised, let down and you are left disappointed. It could be anyone, someone from work, someone from the past, or even someone close to you. Before you allow your feelings and inner thoughts to spiral into the land of pixies and irrational thoughts, remember your own self-awareness.
Thank you for taking the time to read this inspirational blog about life. I hope this creative blog helps you to be inspired and live your dreams, developing some good life habits and positive thinking. The intention of this creative and light-hearted site is for you to live a better, happier life that enhances your own emotional intelligence skills, based on my own life experiences. Please enjoy!
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