by Julie Furlong
There are some things (and stages) we go through in life that we struggle to let go of... the memories left behind that we would rather forget. When we should be learning from our mistakes and moving on, there are some of those moments that we just can’t let go of. We’re brought down with regret, thinking of the things that should never have happened to us or the things we should have never had done.
The world is not perfect. We want it to be, but unfortunately there is always something that comes up. People will piss us off, we have to work or do things we don’t necessary want to do, we have to engage with people we don’t particularly like, people constantly want our attention, the bills need to be paid, there is always too much to do and mistakes and regrets are bound to happen at some point. We hold onto and attach ourselves to what we want the world and people to be like. There will never be a time when life is simple, however your willingness to LET GO will provide clear space and energy to start fresh memories. We all know anger and resentment are toxic and these feelings will keep you in the past, which does not have anything new to offer. Life is too short to dwell on it, so practice accepting that there is a chance to let go to feel peace within yourself.
Here are some ways to get started:
- Timing is everything - Accept, be thankful, learn, believe, take control and recognise it’s time to move on, keep repeating this in your mind (Self Talk). What is done is done, there is no going back, so invest in positive thoughts and behaviour and move forward.
- Create new memories - Make the most out of creating new memories, each day is an opportunity to make new memories happen – so make the most of it!
- Try something new - Try and do the things that you always wanted to do (which you have not done yet), learn a new skill instead of dwelling on the skills you never mastered. Make a list, NOW! (Starting Over)
- Focus on what you can change for a brighter future. Don’t waste your energy on worrying about the things you can’t change or influence.
- Will it matter down the track? Realise that many of the things you’re worrying about don’t really matter in the grand scheme of life and believe you don’t have to have it all 100% figured out. Be ok with the fact that some things will just come to you later and you will be ready to accept and embrace this.
- Let go of the pressure of being perfect and having to control everything. Embrace and make a list of what you have accomplished – even the small things. You’ll have to let go of a little discontentment to make space for self-satisfaction.
- Remove yourself from the situation for a while, take a break. Sometimes the best way to handle the situation and let go, is to remove yourself and when you are ready return to it with a fresh set of eyes, viewpoints and opinions.
Learning to let go is a big ask and quite a challenge, life will fly by and the past will always remain behind us. Mistakes will happen – learn from them, not letting go of the same thing over and over will do you no good. Never expect that things will be forgotten in your mind overnight, be patient. Perceptions and thoughts shape our feelings and actions and the way you respond to what you did in your past will decide on the present and future. The good news is that letting go of past experiences can change our future life. You are what you decide to become… not what has happened to you or what you have done in the past.